Thanks for writing.
Instead of telling me your story, what is your question? A question has possibilities for action.
Telling a story of your past is like driving while looking out the rear view mirror.
Why not tell me what is ahead for you? Instead of playing the “tape” of past grievances, you could live into a life you invent for yourself? What is the seemingly impossible future you would love? What would be your first step toward living into that envisioned future, a single action item that you could do today, learning something from the internet, writing an email, cleaning out, emptying, straightening your environment to get rid of the past you no longer need? What action today will get you to Action #2 tomorrow and further you toward a life you love? Write these action items down - numbers 1, 2 &3.
You can find your way from San Diego to CoSM in Wappinger, New York and only see 200 feet ahead of you at any time.
Use a map. Make the map.