What is your opinion on Borderline Personality Disorder? I was reading through some of your old answers, and you seem to take a harsh stance on honesty and integrity. Personally I believe those things are very important as well, though in my experiences inside and outside the system I have only become more confused. I see major repercussions due to dishonesty. Do you think mental illness is an excuse? Do you believe it is real? Do you believe in lying for a just cause? Do you believe there is one truth, or many? Who decides what is true?
Thank so much for writing. When you say that I " take a harsh stance on honesty and integrity’ I would counter that I hold honesty and integrity as fundamental qualities that I admire and count on to inform me of the trust factor of an individual. The quality of truthfulness, free of deceit, informs our choice of friends, work associates and businesses. Integrity means doing what we said we’d do WHEN we said we’d do it. Integrity indicates the soundness of moral character. Being human, integrity has a flow. We all fall short of adhering to ethical principles from time to time. When we are “out of integrity,” it is well worth doing what we can to make amends, especially if the transgression preys on the mind. Alex heard a voice that said, “Confess wrong doing. Ask forgiveness. Give forgiveness. Surrender to Love.” If we believe we have any impairment or illness of mind or body that keeps us from being all we can be, it is a good idea to consult with a medical professional. If a pharmaceutical solution is recommended, we’d have to weigh the short and long-term benefits and possible side affects. For instance, if avoiding medication occasions symptoms of Bi-Polar Disorder (BPD), including an ongoing pattern of varying moods, shifting self-image, and erratic or troubling behavior that results in impulsive actions and problems in relationships, therapeutic options are called for and are ever more available. Ask yourself if you identify with the following statements:
• I often feel “empty.."
• My emotions shift quickly..
• I often experience extreme sadness, anger, and anxiety..
• I fear that the people I care about will abandon me.
• Most of my romantic relationships are intense and unstable.
• The way I feel about people can dramatically change one moment to the next without reason.
• Feeling insecure in a relationship, I may lash out or make frantic gestures to keep another person close.
• I do things that are dangerous, like drinking recklessly, unsafe sex, binging, excessive drug use, or spending sprees.
• I've engaged in self-harm behaviors such as cutting or attempted suicide.
Research tells us that BPD is treatable. I do not think that a treatable illness should be used as an excuse for not having a life you love. Of course, it’s real. Of course, it is your responsibility to create a life you love. When life becomes extremely troubled and transformation is not sought or applied, the involvement of medical or legal authorities are predictable. You ask if I believe in lying for a just cause? Yes. Everyone determines their own truth. To the degree that our personal truth and actions contradict the norm, a loss of power, including legal action, incarceration or institutionalization can result. I recommending doing what you can to control your mind and behavior and not to be afraid to ask for help. Hope sounds positive but is inactive. Help, on the other hand, is conscious and active. By writing to me you are going in the direction of help, a very positive sign. I am so touched that you were willing to share the depth of your inquiring soul on a subject that troubles many.
In loving service,
*Disclaimer: Allyson Grey is not a therapist or licensed health care provider. She is unable to work with clients who are suicidal, self-harming, suffering from addiction, or eating disorders. If you are in this situation, please – for yourself and your loved ones – please get the appropriate help for your needs.